Conversations With A Fool

Conversations with a Fool and William Shakespeare

“Hello there, old sport!”

“Erm, are you talking to me?”

“Yes, yes, of course I am talking to you. Who else is here on this godforsaken pier at this godforsaken hour, you godforsaken fool?”

“Hey, there’s no need to be rude you know. Hmph.”

“Oh, do not walk away, good sir. I apologize. My tongue has a habit of running off without thought.”

“So keep it on a leash.”

“Good idea, good sir.”

“Hey, hey, stop! What are you doing? What the hell are you doing?”

“Kweepwing ith ohn a lweash, ash you shaid.”

“Not like that! Get that bloody rope out of your mouth. What in the blazes is wrong with you, man?”

“Huh. Then how did you mean it? You really should explain things better, you know.”

“It was a figure of speech!”

“Huh, you should’ve said so. I thought you are being literal. I’m new to these parts, if you didn’t notice.”

“Yeah, what’s with that attire anyway? The Elizabethan ages called. They want their dresses back.”

“Really?”
“No, not really. I was being facetious. Sheesh, are you thick or something?”

“I told you I’m new here, you greasy ignoramus!”
“So wha–Hey, hey, put that spear away. Hey, I was just joking! Hey!”

“What were you saying?”

“Hey, I was joking. Put that away. Put it away! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Dance. Dance, you stupid starveling, you stock fish!”

“I’m sorry, please. Let me live, please!”

“Will you answer me properly now, you three-inch fool?”

“Yes, yes. I’ll do anything, just please don’t kill me!”

“Good. Good. So, where am I?”

“You’re in Mumbai, man. How drunk were you to not notice which city you landed up in?”

“Mumbai? What is Mumbai? Is it in France?”
“No, it’s in India, man. France is half a world away.”

“What is India?”

“It’s a country. You weren’t joking when you said you’re new here. Are you an alien or something? Haha”

“An alien? Like an alius? I suppose I am a stranger in a brave, new world.”

“Really? What’s your name them?”

“William. William Shakespeare.”

“…”

“Hello, are you okay? Hello? Hey, have you fainted or are you dead? Hey?”

*****

And that, is how I met one Mr. William Shakespeare, and how he moved into this island city, right by the shores of the Arabian Sea.

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